Ex, had a rush meeting for Phi Sigma Pi last night, and met one of the brothers. Very obviously gay. Extremely effeminate. Not my type at all. I was repulsed, but then my libido responded in a way I've never experienced before: I had a sudden desire to dominate him, to use force of will to convince him to satisfy me, to assert my superiority over his omega self. While yet another part of me was shocked that I was willing to sacrifice a possible relationship with a guy I've met who far better matches my taste, for a loveless sex-only relationship with a male who I consider beneath me.
It has been a long time since I have had any sort of romantic contact with another guy, so I'm willing to chalk my libido's response to extreme sexual frustration, but I would appreciate the input of a man who shares my sexual preferences and makes a living examining why people feel the way they do.
Do you think it would be wrong for me to "fool around" with him if he offered to? Part of me would love to blow off some steam, part of me is annoyed and a little ashamed that I am even considering pursuing a casual relationship with a guy who falls below my standards. While I'm pleased that I do have an alpha side, I'm a little perturbed that it is manifesting towards a man I am not emotionally interested in.
What I am getting at is, would my manhood be diminished by getting intimate with an effeminate omega for sexual gratification, or vindicated? That is my chiefest concern going forward, and will probably determine how I go forward.
Yes, I think I did. I'm a little ashamed that I thought this was even a viable option. I have a plan, and I'm going to stick to it, no matter how long it takes.
Oh, the guy I mentioned in my first post? Every box in my checklist: smart, athletic, masculine, and a redhead, to boot! The only problem is I don't know if he is attracted to men. That and my carrying a bit more than I am happy with. But he has definitely given me a goal to work for to impress him and make myself good enough for him. That's what my man needs to be, above all else: somebody who will challenge me to constantly improve myself and not settle for "good enough."
5 comments:
Ex, had a rush meeting for Phi Sigma Pi last night, and met one of the brothers. Very obviously gay. Extremely effeminate. Not my type at all. I was repulsed, but then my libido responded in a way I've never experienced before: I had a sudden desire to dominate him, to use force of will to convince him to satisfy me, to assert my superiority over his omega self. While yet another part of me was shocked that I was willing to sacrifice a possible relationship with a guy I've met who far better matches my taste, for a loveless sex-only relationship with a male who I consider beneath me.
It has been a long time since I have had any sort of romantic contact with another guy, so I'm willing to chalk my libido's response to extreme sexual frustration, but I would appreciate the input of a man who shares my sexual preferences and makes a living examining why people feel the way they do.
-Sean
All I can or will say at a distance is that, in men especially, sex and aggression are naturally intertwined.
Do you think it would be wrong for me to "fool around" with him if he offered to? Part of me would love to blow off some steam, part of me is annoyed and a little ashamed that I am even considering pursuing a casual relationship with a guy who falls below my standards. While I'm pleased that I do have an alpha side, I'm a little perturbed that it is manifesting towards a man I am not emotionally interested in.
What I am getting at is, would my manhood be diminished by getting intimate with an effeminate omega for sexual gratification, or vindicated? That is my chiefest concern going forward, and will probably determine how I go forward.
-Sean
I think you've already answered your own question, Sean.
Yes, I think I did. I'm a little ashamed that I thought this was even a viable option. I have a plan, and I'm going to stick to it, no matter how long it takes.
Oh, the guy I mentioned in my first post? Every box in my checklist: smart, athletic, masculine, and a redhead, to boot! The only problem is I don't know if he is attracted to men. That and my carrying a bit more than I am happy with. But he has definitely given me a goal to work for to impress him and make myself good enough for him. That's what my man needs to be, above all else: somebody who will challenge me to constantly improve myself and not settle for "good enough."
-Sean
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