Yeah, I have realized that I hate them, find them repulsive and disgusting. Gosh, I'm a drag queen hater.
The other day as I was dial-changing, I came on a few seconds RuPaul's Drag Race on LOGO, with what looked like a preening frenzy of drag queens posing and writhing for the camera. My response was visceral and negative.
And today there was a poster up at my gym, advertizing some gay party or dance or event, and the emcee was a guy in a dress named Donna Sachet.
The message here is that what makes a gay event gay is to have a drag queen on site, what authenticates gayness is gender deviance. And that just supports my foot-dragging but now seemingly inescapeable sense that for many gay men --not all-- and for the institutions of gay culture, gayness is primarily about gender identity disorder and only secondarily about sexual object choice.
As I have said many times, I don't think I have a robotic sense of masculinity. Manhood is not a monochromatic cartoon, not even the "traditional" or "patriarchal" masculinity so loathed by feminists and queer theorists. Anyone who knows real traditional men knows that they are not one-dimensional and never were. Of course real men have feelings other than anger. Just listen to classic country & western music for twenty minutes.
But the gay attraction to histrionic femaleness, whether it be love of drag, worship of divas --from the tragically diseased to the narcissistically fabulous--, or the all-too-common gay aping of ghetto girl attitudes and gesture...forget it. I hate it.
Have a heart, have an eye for what's beautiful, but for God's sake, ditch the dress and take off the effing wig.
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15 comments:
There seems to be a subtext here ... I have to wonder if what's really going on is resistance, or denial of a deep wish to become a drag queen. What could be the reason for the resistance? Perhaps you try'd crossdressing one time and were mock'd by other gay males for not being any good at it? Reaction formation resulted, and now you believe you hate drag queens and insist that true homoeroticism doesn't have anything to do with wanting to do impersonations of Judy Garland, Bette Midler at al.
I don't know what the problem is here. Francis Bacon liked to camp it up as Elizabeth I, and Socrates was always 'doing' an impression of Theodotê or some other fabulous courtesan. Lord Kitchener liked to skip his way along the front. ... Are you saying you're a better gay male than they were?
You're not the only one who finds drag queens offputting... Apart from the tedious and (I think) destructive equation of "gay" with "gender dysmorphia" (why does one have to be female in order to like males? Seems as though on some level the drag queen re-inscribes heteronormativity), it would be one thing to look like a woman, but they don't. They look like a violent caricature of women at their most skeezy.
Just for the record I am a girl.
I agree with some of your points.
I hate Drag Queens. If men want to dress as woman they should get a sex change. But I don't think that dressing in woman’s clothing makes a man homosexual.
I can accept Drag Kings as they are lot nicer and look a lot better.
Woman dressing as men: Yes.
Men dressing as woman: NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!!!
And if anyone says I am being sexist, shut your trap, because I am not!
I'm a gay man, and I abhor drag queens.
It doesn't bother me that they dress as a women. It doesn't even bother me when a good drag queen does impersonations (good ones, mind you) of icons like Judy Garland, Madonna, Bette Midler, Cher, etc.
What bothers me is the level of immaturity and drama that is immersed in the drag culture. The true drag scene has little to do with sexuality (just like many gay pride parades...but don't get me started about that nonsense). Drag queens know that this is an immediate turn off to a lot of gay men because face it- if I wanted a woman, I would be with a woman. You don't have to be a card-carrying member of a construction crew, but when you're dripping glitter and hairspray and heaven forbid, wearing a crown...and all the nice man-parts are unnaturally tucked away-it's gross. It's unnatural.
Many queens have told me that the only way they feel natural is to be on stage performing, which indicates to me that they aren't comfortable in their own skin. It's an escape. Which would be fine except for the fact that doing drag is like being in the mafia-once you're in, you're in.
I'm not doing a very good job of explaining my feelings on the subject. At all. All I know is that once, it was a fun way for gay men to entertain, but now it's become a subculture of homosexual insecurity at its best. And the egos that go along with it scream insecurity because they MUST have attention.
As a gay man, I hate it when people automatically think I'm familiar with RuPaul's repertoire. I don't like it, it disgusts me, and while I know it will never go away, I wish to hell that somehow, being gay could stop being synonymous with being a drag queen.
"I wish to hell that somehow, being gay could stop being synonymous with being a drag queen." Well put. But I suspect that gay guys as opposed to gay queens will always be a minority.
I am very well aware of my deficiencies as a man, my failures to live up to what a man should be. But they have little to do with my sexual orientation. They are flaws in my character, where I lack courage or energy. But I still wish to be a man, not a bad cartoon of a pathological version of a woman. I'm with you.
I never liked drag much, but used to think it was funny. Now I find that it embodies about everything I have come to hate about "gayness".
I am involved with a drag queen. I met him as a guy and for three or four weeks had no idea that he did drag. By the time he opened up to me I was attached. Now almost 9 months into this relationship I find myself completely turned off by this person. The drag persona comes out a lot and as a gay man who is attracted to guys , I am constantly having to deal with this symbolic female persona. I don't want to hurt him, but I feel as though he deserves someone that can enjoy this portion of his life. I feel like I am being tortured and dread it when he comes home, and I am no longer sexually attracted. How do I kindly explain why the relationship will not work out in the long run?
I wrote the original comment about wishing that being gay was not being synonymous with being a drag queen. I wish I had some advice to offer you in regards to this, but I don't. I'm curious...is it the female portion of his persona that's a turn off? Or is it the dramatic antics? Or all of the above? That's why I can't stomach them.
I'm afraid that the connection between gayness and effeminacy is very strong, and the gay community promotes it.
I distinguish between men with a streak of the feminine in them..and effeminate men, especially the drama queen type. A soft kind of guy may not turn me on,but I do not find him repulsive. When you have the strange kind of immature or pathological and attention-seeking kind of feminine acting out...that I find very offputting. It's a caricature of the feminine which just disfigures a man.
It would be all of the above. I do not understand why gender identity and homosexuality have been lumped together. I am also confused at why the majority of people seem to equate emotion with the feminine. So I am still in a bind and am not sure if asking him to stop would be appropriate or fair to him.
I have come to understand 3 distinct subgroups within our little male gay world.
1 the super masculine
2 the super feminine
3 the atristocratic - or softer male
I believe this divide occured between the 1960's and 1980's
there is a really good documentary on this topic which might help us as a community to understand and deconstruct the stereo types for the upcoming generations. I wish I wish I could remember what it was called.
I just can't stand that they call them selves Women, You were made a Man. Anyways i agree with you're statement "I hate drag queens"
I am a straight male who has always hated the thought of a man dressed up and acting this way. Its inmature and down right disgusting behavior as far as I and millions around the globe are concerned. I cant imagine how confused one must be in their heart and mind to conduct themselves this way. So very sad!!!
Amen. I feel like they are what everyone in the straight world thinks we all are. It is as offensive to me as a UFO sighting by an crazy hick is to an educated intelligent southerner
I'm a straight woman and I also hatae drag queens. Please tell me why its racist for a white to put on blackface and do a mintrel show routine, but its okay for a man to dress up as a caricature of a woman?
What really set me off was the recent 'cotton ceiling' kerfluffle, where a bunch of drag queens somehow got Planned Parenthood to sponsor a workshop dedicated to "breaking down sexual barriers" and "ripping through the cotton ceiling (panties)" of lesbians. (Nothing rapey about that, nosiree!)
Yes, the drag queens are whining that lesbians won't sleep with them and need to be 'educated'.
Pal, you can dress up like your favorite diva call your equipment a 'ladystick', but that doesn't change the fact that you're still a man.
I never thought I'd see the day when pointing out that being a woman is something set by Mother Nature, you just can't declare yourself one would be considered 'hate speech'.
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