Yeah, I have realized that I hate them, find them repulsive and disgusting. Gosh, I'm a drag queen hater.
The other day as I was dial-changing, I came on a few seconds RuPaul's Drag Race on LOGO, with what looked like a preening frenzy of drag queens posing and writhing for the camera. My response was visceral and negative.
And today there was a poster up at my gym, advertizing some gay party or dance or event, and the emcee was a guy in a dress named Donna Sachet.
The message here is that what makes a gay event gay is to have a drag queen on site, what authenticates gayness is gender deviance. And that just supports my foot-dragging but now seemingly inescapable sense that for many gay men --not all-- and for the institutions of gay culture, gayness is primarily about gender identity disorder and only secondarily about sexual object choice.
As I have said many times, I don't think I have a robotic sense of masculinity. Manhood is not a monochromatic cartoon, not even the "traditional" or "patriarchal" masculinity so loathed by feminists and queer theorists. Anyone who knows real traditional men knows that they are not one-dimensional and never were. Of course real men have feelings other than anger. Just listen to classic country & western music for twenty minutes.
But the gay attraction to histrionic femaleness, whether it be love of drag, worship of divas --from the tragically diseased to the narcissistically fabulous--, or the all-too-common gay aping of ghetto girl attitudes and gesture...forget it. I hate it.
Have a heart, have an eye for what's beautiful, but for God's sake, ditch the dress and take off the effing wig.
__________________
28 comments:
There seems to be a subtext here ... I have to wonder if what's really going on is resistance, or denial of a deep wish to become a drag queen. What could be the reason for the resistance? Perhaps you try'd crossdressing one time and were mock'd by other gay males for not being any good at it? Reaction formation resulted, and now you believe you hate drag queens and insist that true homoeroticism doesn't have anything to do with wanting to do impersonations of Judy Garland, Bette Midler at al.
I don't know what the problem is here. Francis Bacon liked to camp it up as Elizabeth I, and Socrates was always 'doing' an impression of Theodotê or some other fabulous courtesan. Lord Kitchener liked to skip his way along the front. ... Are you saying you're a better gay male than they were?
You're not the only one who finds drag queens offputting... Apart from the tedious and (I think) destructive equation of "gay" with "gender dysmorphia" (why does one have to be female in order to like males? Seems as though on some level the drag queen re-inscribes heteronormativity), it would be one thing to look like a woman, but they don't. They look like a violent caricature of women at their most skeezy.
Just for the record I am a girl.
I agree with some of your points.
I hate Drag Queens. If men want to dress as woman they should get a sex change. But I don't think that dressing in woman’s clothing makes a man homosexual.
I can accept Drag Kings as they are lot nicer and look a lot better.
Woman dressing as men: Yes.
Men dressing as woman: NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!!!
And if anyone says I am being sexist, shut your trap, because I am not!
I'm a gay man, and I abhor drag queens.
It doesn't bother me that they dress as a women. It doesn't even bother me when a good drag queen does impersonations (good ones, mind you) of icons like Judy Garland, Madonna, Bette Midler, Cher, etc.
What bothers me is the level of immaturity and drama that is immersed in the drag culture. The true drag scene has little to do with sexuality (just like many gay pride parades...but don't get me started about that nonsense). Drag queens know that this is an immediate turn off to a lot of gay men because face it- if I wanted a woman, I would be with a woman. You don't have to be a card-carrying member of a construction crew, but when you're dripping glitter and hairspray and heaven forbid, wearing a crown...and all the nice man-parts are unnaturally tucked away-it's gross. It's unnatural.
Many queens have told me that the only way they feel natural is to be on stage performing, which indicates to me that they aren't comfortable in their own skin. It's an escape. Which would be fine except for the fact that doing drag is like being in the mafia-once you're in, you're in.
I'm not doing a very good job of explaining my feelings on the subject. At all. All I know is that once, it was a fun way for gay men to entertain, but now it's become a subculture of homosexual insecurity at its best. And the egos that go along with it scream insecurity because they MUST have attention.
As a gay man, I hate it when people automatically think I'm familiar with RuPaul's repertoire. I don't like it, it disgusts me, and while I know it will never go away, I wish to hell that somehow, being gay could stop being synonymous with being a drag queen.
"I wish to hell that somehow, being gay could stop being synonymous with being a drag queen." Well put. But I suspect that gay guys as opposed to gay queens will always be a minority.
I am very well aware of my deficiencies as a man, my failures to live up to what a man should be. But they have little to do with my sexual orientation. They are flaws in my character, where I lack courage or energy. But I still wish to be a man, not a bad cartoon of a pathological version of a woman. I'm with you.
I never liked drag much, but used to think it was funny. Now I find that it embodies about everything I have come to hate about "gayness".
I am involved with a drag queen. I met him as a guy and for three or four weeks had no idea that he did drag. By the time he opened up to me I was attached. Now almost 9 months into this relationship I find myself completely turned off by this person. The drag persona comes out a lot and as a gay man who is attracted to guys , I am constantly having to deal with this symbolic female persona. I don't want to hurt him, but I feel as though he deserves someone that can enjoy this portion of his life. I feel like I am being tortured and dread it when he comes home, and I am no longer sexually attracted. How do I kindly explain why the relationship will not work out in the long run?
I wrote the original comment about wishing that being gay was not being synonymous with being a drag queen. I wish I had some advice to offer you in regards to this, but I don't. I'm curious...is it the female portion of his persona that's a turn off? Or is it the dramatic antics? Or all of the above? That's why I can't stomach them.
I'm afraid that the connection between gayness and effeminacy is very strong, and the gay community promotes it.
I distinguish between men with a streak of the feminine in them..and effeminate men, especially the drama queen type. A soft kind of guy may not turn me on,but I do not find him repulsive. When you have the strange kind of immature or pathological and attention-seeking kind of feminine acting out...that I find very offputting. It's a caricature of the feminine which just disfigures a man.
It would be all of the above. I do not understand why gender identity and homosexuality have been lumped together. I am also confused at why the majority of people seem to equate emotion with the feminine. So I am still in a bind and am not sure if asking him to stop would be appropriate or fair to him.
I have come to understand 3 distinct subgroups within our little male gay world.
1 the super masculine
2 the super feminine
3 the atristocratic - or softer male
I believe this divide occured between the 1960's and 1980's
there is a really good documentary on this topic which might help us as a community to understand and deconstruct the stereo types for the upcoming generations. I wish I wish I could remember what it was called.
I just can't stand that they call them selves Women, You were made a Man. Anyways i agree with you're statement "I hate drag queens"
I am a straight male who has always hated the thought of a man dressed up and acting this way. Its inmature and down right disgusting behavior as far as I and millions around the globe are concerned. I cant imagine how confused one must be in their heart and mind to conduct themselves this way. So very sad!!!
I'm a straight woman and I also hatae drag queens. Please tell me why its racist for a white to put on blackface and do a mintrel show routine, but its okay for a man to dress up as a caricature of a woman?
What really set me off was the recent 'cotton ceiling' kerfluffle, where a bunch of drag queens somehow got Planned Parenthood to sponsor a workshop dedicated to "breaking down sexual barriers" and "ripping through the cotton ceiling (panties)" of lesbians. (Nothing rapey about that, nosiree!)
Yes, the drag queens are whining that lesbians won't sleep with them and need to be 'educated'.
Pal, you can dress up like your favorite diva call your equipment a 'ladystick', but that doesn't change the fact that you're still a man.
I never thought I'd see the day when pointing out that being a woman is something set by Mother Nature, you just can't declare yourself one would be considered 'hate speech'.
I found this post by searching "I'm gay and hate drag queens" in the hope that I'd discover I'm not alone. I just watched a commercial for a gay cruise, and it looked interesting for me and my partner then all of a sudden the nightlife section of the video started and there were grotesque drag queens all over the place. That to me is not entertainment. I'm gay and I just don't get it! I seem to be doomed in trying to assert my masculinity as a gay man in the eyes of my friends and family when the gay community pedal such awful stereotypes. I would HATE to think that anyone I know assumed I like drag because I'm gay, I would absolutely detest it.
I completely agree, I hate drag queens! Like the poster above, I hate feeling like i have to assert my masculinity to my friends and family every time they hear something about the gay community. I really wish drag queens would stop connecting themselves with the gay community at the very least (because I know it's to hopeful to think that they would just stop acting like that and act like men).
There seems to be a subtext here ... I have to wonder if what's really going on is resistance, or denial of a deep wish to become a drag queen. What could be the reason for the resistance? Perhaps you try'd crossdressing one time and were mock'd by other gay males for not being any good at it? Reaction formation resulted, and now you believe you hate drag queens and insist that true homoeroticism doesn't have anything to do with wanting to do impersonations of Judy Garland, Bette Midler at al.
JPNill strikes again.
I totally agree. I am gay, and I have naturally feminen facial features and voice. However, I cant stand drag. As a singer, actor I guess it's just like so fake. The real art is not in the performance, just the makeup so why dont they just have drag photoshoots instead of performances where they walk and bounce around a stage lypsynching to awful music. I hate ru pauls dra race I hate the fakeness of it, I hate the rexclamations they say, I hate the songs they dance to, the drama, and I also hate the fact that every gay event in my hometown is centered around drag. I just don't get it, what does watching a drag show have to do with being gay? I am not attracted to women as it is, so why would I want to see men potrayinmg women? It just irritates me. Someone who is transgender does not bother me, I understand that and respect those peoples braveness. But drag is just uber fake and annoyingly obnoxious.
I'm a straight guy and I HATE drag queens. I have no problem with gay people; many of them are my friends. But I despise drag queens. They are hateful, bitchy, backstabbing, vicious souls. They act nice to your face, then go behind your back and spread lies. I had several drag queens who for years I thought of as trusted friends go behind my back to my now ex-girlfriend and try to sabotage the relationship by spreading awful lies about me (like I had HIV or was a male prostitute, or was in the closet, or whatever else they could think of to split us up). Turns out they had been doing this for years and I just never knew. And they were well past the point of trying to convert me; this was apparently just their way of getting back at me since they couldn't have me. Sounds conceited, but I swear its the truth. All of my gay friends concur, and they are people who have watched the situation unfold over the years. So apart from the fact that they look and sound utterly ridiculous (but nonetheless I always supported their right to be what they want), the MAJOR character flaws endemic in that population is the basis for my resent.
A gay psychologist who has written one of the best articles about gay male maturation notes the combination of histrionic and sadistic traits in many drag queens. I think he was right.
To me it is an acting out of a very wounded and pathological form of the feminine.
DrAndroSF, that actually makes a lot of sense. There is definitely some twisted pathology in all of the drag queens I've met. Actually ran into this girl the other day who I was on a date with a few years back. Introduced her to one of my drag queen "friends," and she shortly broke it off and disappeared. Never knew why. We talked a bit and it turns out this "friend" was telling her I was an ex of his and he used to bone me and blah blah blah. Guess it was a knee-jerk reaction on her part, like a well-somebody-wouldn't-say-a-horrible-thing-like-that-if-there-wasn't-a-nugget-of-truth-to-it type of deal. She did apologize for believing his lie without even asking me, but we kind of agreed it was done and we should continue on our separate ways. Funny thing is, I remember venting about being dumped like that to my "friend" and him consoling me but at the same time having this undercurrent of glee. That behavior fits the criteria for both histrionic and sadistic personality. I realize I'm doing a bit of venting myself, but not in an effort to garner sympathy or attention; this is a page for hating drag queens and so I'm throwing in my two cents of hate plus providing the reasoning behind my hatred of this disgusting niche of society.
I'm a straight woman who doesn't have a problem with gays.
But I find drag queens really offensive. They peddle disgusting traits like promiscuity, vanity and bitchiness as entertainment! Then tell us to say 'She', as if they are women!
I definitely believe that there are people with sexual preferences for their gender. I sort of believe that you can be born into the wrong gender.
But what possesses a person to dress like a trampy woman (when they are supposedly happy as men) then act deliberately trashy and obnoxious?! And why does society encourage it?
All of you are terrible. Regardless of how anyone conducts their lives, people should be respectful. I am a straight male, and I am disgusted by how hateful these comments are. How do you expect the world to stop hating you when you demonstrate such hate yourselves. I was raised to hate homosexuals, but I learned to think for myself and respect your way of life. So what I am trying to say is, learn to respect before you expect to be respected.
Well, if you're a guy who's erotically drawn to guys, it's not surprising that effeminacy in a male puts you off. Most straight men are not attracted to mannish females.
Gay culture will try to make you feel guilty or "un-evolved" about that, but that's their problem.
The great majority of gay men have a relationship to the internal feminine part of their souls which is quite different from straight men's. It can be tough and confusing to navigate. A lot of gay men get "shipwrecked" on it in the form of effeminacy, which is not the same as tenderness or warmth but is a maladapted form of femininity which is usually either immature (teenage girl style) or pathological (angry bitch style), or both.
Try reading the book "Androphilia" but Jack Malebranche (Donovan). You may be a minority, but you're not alone.
I don't hate drag queens, but I do think they tend to be counterproductive and detrimental for male homosexuality. As someone posted above, attraction to males is justified by evoking women and femininity in drag queens. This reaffirms heterosexuality and heteronormativity. Sadly, not many people this is aspect of it all.
I think that many drag queens since childhood have interiorised the idea that in order to like men and attract them they must be or evoke a woman themselves.
I don't really hate drag queens, but I am interested in understanding the psychology behind this obsessive impulse to dress like women and present a hyper-feminized chacarter hypersexualized idea of femininity.
It seems like most drag queens are also hyper effeminate in real life and, the divising line between the character and the real person is blurry many times. One thing I know though is that most flamboyant and evidently effeminate gay men tend to suffer from histrionic personality disroder which may be very prevalent among drag queens.
Sounds like you're projecting your insecurities onto the author. Not everyone finds your gay lifestyle choices "normal" and it's fine to be disgusted.
Your comment was nine tears ago, I hope you've got over yourself in that time.
Post a Comment