Traduttore, traditore

The old Italian phrase, "Translator, traitor." See, there, I did it. Less literally but perhaps more likely to echo the music of the original, "Who translates, betrays."

I indulged myself in trying my own hand at some prayers in the Latin Mass, to see how I stood up against the older and new translations. The 1970 one sometimes has rhythm, but its so smooth that it becomes white noise. The upcoming one has plenty of sacrality and a lot of clunkiness. Since I suspect few of my readers are Latinists, I'll just post the new one and mine. Parts of the Third Canon:

Arcane? Maybe. But no angry Muslims and no naked men! (The varying fonts mean nothing; just a fight between Microsoft Word and Blogger.)

2010 LIT AUTH	EX CATHEDRA
You are indeed Holy, O Lord, and all you have created rightly gives you praise, for through your Son our Lord Jesus Christ, by the power and working of the Holy Spirit, you give life to all things and make them holy, and you never cease to gather a people to yourself, so that from the rising of the sun to its setting a pure sacrifice may be offered to your name.	Truly are you holy, O Lord, and rightly does your every creature praise you, for through your Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, by the working and power of the Holy Spirit, you enliven and sanctify all things, ever gathering a people to yourself, so that from the rising of the sun to its setting a pure sacrifice may be offered to your Name.
Therefore, O Lord, we humbly implore you: by the same Spirit graciously make holy these gifts we have brought to you for consecration, that they may become the Body and Blood of your Son our Lord Jesus Christ at whose command we celebrate these mysteries.	Humbly, therefore,  do we ask you, O Lord: by the same Holy Spirit make holy these gifts, gifts we have brought and set apart for you, that they may become the Body and +Blood of your Son our Lord Jesus Christ, at whose command we celebrate these mysteries.
Therefore, O Lord, we celebrate the memorial of the saving passion of your Son, his wondrous Resurrection and Ascension into heaven, and as we look forward to his second coming, we offer you in thanksgiving this holy and living sacrifice.	Remembering therefore, O Lord, your Son’s saving passion, his wonderful resurrection and ascension into heaven, while awaiting his coming again, we offer to you in thanksgiving this holy and living sacrifice.
Look, we pray, upon the oblation of your Church, and, recognizing the sacrificial Victim by whose death you willed to reconcile us to yourself, grant that we, who are nourished by the Body and Blood of your Son, and filled with his Holy Spirit, may become one body, one spirit in Christ.	Behold the offering of your Church, we pray, seeing here the Lamb given up in sacrifice, whose death, by your will, made reconciliation for us. Grant that we who are fed by the Body and Blood of your Son, being filled with his Holy Spirit, may be found one body, one spirit in Christ.