Multiplicity

When I was in New York in the spring during my mother's hospitalization, I had a trying afternoon with her. One of my sisters asked how it was going. I said, "Well, I have three feelings..." and explained the simultaneous conflicting emotions that she evoked in me. Compassion, sadness and anger. My sister's responses indicated that she knew what I meant.


Business as usual. Or so I thought.

Not too long ago I was conversing with someone who was a "dear friend", --whom one of the wags I know nicknamed "Lord Voldemort" (He Who Must Not Be Named)--, and started to tell him this story. When I got to the part about having three feelings, he stopped me.

"Three feelings at once?"
"Yes."
"Did your sister's eyes glaze over when you said that? Three feelings? Did she leave the room? How can you have three feelings at once?"

I looked at him and said, "It's easy. Like right now I am feeling both love and murderous rage."

"Oh, I see. It's a cultural thing. I'm Italian. For us, that's just one feeling. They're the same."


It was pretty funny. At the time.

Today, as I expect I shall be doing for a while to come, I am feeling a lot more than one thing at a time. Love and murderous rage just for starters. Gratitude, frustration, tenderness, loss, disbelief, fear. Etc.