ex cathedra: Hitting the sexual jackpot in Berlin

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Hitting the sexual jackpot in Berlin

Sorta. A funny piece about an American woman in a Berlin sex museum with live inanimate people (sic) to practice finding the g-spot on. Boyfriend activates the female mannequin's quickly; Miss America, inexperienced, tries the male:

While the female mannequin appeared multi orgasmic at the hands of my boyfriend, I could not find the male mannequin’s g-spot. It was just a smooth piece of plastic and the ins and outs of anything’s asshole, including my own, remain thankfully mysterious. But I finally found it. Boy, did I find it. The female mannequin was subdued in comparison, this thing went off like a land mine.

“OH YEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!” it echoed across the quiet floor, causing everyone in earshot to whirl around and find me knuckle deep in a mannequin’s asshole. For a moment they all just stared and my previous lax attitude vanished. I could see it now; dumb American girl gives mannequin ball-shattering orgasm, gets kicked out of Europe.

Or so I thought until everyone in the place started cheering, including my boyfriend.
A group of British guys came over to congratulate me on my apparent sexual prowess, giving me high fives and patting me on the back as they did. One dude jokingly held his hand up to his ear and whispered, “Call me.”

HT to the eternally vexed and irritable Canuckess, Kathy Shaidle, who titles the link: "Confirmed. We didn't kill enough Germans." She occasionally opines similarly about Japanese and atomic bombs. And in detail about southern Italians. And people think I'm a curmudgeon. And she's young(is). And female. And Catholic. And Canadian! From Ontario!

Hey, who said the decline and fall of a civilization lacked moments of humor?

3 comments:

Anonymous said...: Jeopardy: »He said the decline and fall of a civilization lacked moments of humor.«

Contestant er: »Who is Oswald Spengler?«; 11:29 AM, October 18, 2011
Anonymous said...: Spengler: "Optimism is cowardice."

er: "Then pessimism must be abject running away [Hijira]."; 11:32 AM, October 18, 2011
Anonymous said...: Time [Chronos, Ninurta] magazine (12 Feb 1934), reviewing Spengler's »The Hour of Decision«:

"When Oswald Spengler speaks, many a Western Worldling stops to listen."

One would have supposed the Spengler wanted the western Manu to try to continue the western world, but evidently Spengler's purpose was to stop the western world.

... Allah is merciful, beneficent, but is he affordable and sustainable or even renewable?; 11:39 AM, October 18, 2011

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