A friend, Tony, (names and details have been altered) sent me a copy of a set of emails with a prospective date. "Chuck" is a classic example of a borderline personality. With this type of guy, once you trip the switch, you go from being a hot and interesting man to being a worthless piece of lying dirty trash...in about a minute. Tony, by the way, is as advertised, a very nice and considerate guy.
There's a lot of this stuff out there. I've had a similar "dialogue" myself a time or two.
TONY’S AD:
Looking for relationship. I’m convinced the best relationships are a combination of friendship, common interests, respect, and animal attraction. I’m a decent guy, mature (50+) guy here; professional, upbeat. Here are some of the things that I value: good listeners; thoughtful, even-keeled guys; well-educated guys appeal to me.
CHUCK’S CONTACT: Hi. Until I saw your ad I didn't think anyone looked for the qualities that you described. That is what I seek; however, can't find it. Local guys are very proud, materialistic and too sure of themselves. I'm not really looking for a LTR. I'm looking for friendship above all. I’m just a few years younger than you.
Anyway, let me know if there is an interest. I am a non-mainstream type gay guy so I don't do bars. Not looking for quickie sex.
I am aware of those that have little. I volunteer for a local mental health entity. I also am living on very little while I finish school. I am humble; however, not stupid and not a person that is into crazy stuff.
Chuck, just got back from a business trip. You sound like a great guy. Friendship is a prerequisite for any relationship. You know from my profile what I'm looking for. Is a relationship out of the question for you? Non-mainstream is great...I like that.
Tony, sex is NOT what I am after. I am after friendship above all. A relationship would entail someone who is stable, without any STD's or AIDS, blood disorders or the like. How as your recent trip? Wish I could have accompanied you
I admire the fact that you show off your body at your age. That takes a lot of effort. It is terrible that we have to look so fit for the younger guys. I prefer guys over 40 and always have.
Chuck, I like your point of view: sex is not what I am after. I am after a friendship which has the potential to become a long-term relationship, which eventually will include sex. Is that a possibility with you? I have no std's of any kind. No blood disorders. Totally the stable type.
Tony, I responded to you yesterday; however, did not hear back from you. May I remind you that you ad listed: "No drama. Talks out conflicts" If a conflict is already going on, we need to talk about it.
You did not respond to whether you had AIDS or not. You merely responded "I have no std's of any kind". Whereas, AIDS is a std, I was thinking that a "stable" man as you have described yourself would have included that. Realize that you are not dealing with a "dumn" (sic) individual. I may be humble, etc. (per your specifications); however, I am an integrity oriented person and I expect you to be the same.
We are both mature men and we should be communicating and not playing the games of those younger or less understanding of human dynamics.
If I don't hear from you, I assume you were just "jacking around" and had no real interest in formulating a friendship/relationship but were using that pretext to get someone to have sex with you. Your body is very thin and that is a source of concern for me as you may have AIDS. I do not wish to compromise my health with an individual with AIDS.
I'll respond tonight, Chuck. Sorry for the silence. I don't have AIDS. Until later tonight, Tony.
Tony, I did not hear from you. I gathered that with your ad running that you are dating/screwing all kinds of men and getting yourself subjected to AIDs and other diseases. I had a feeling from your appearance that you were just a player and not really committed. I don't have time for your kind of people in my life.
You might want to change your ad since you ask for a lot; however, you are nothing like the ad. If you want someone to be a certain way, realize you have to have some kind of honorable characteristics. Most guys are like you -- wanton. No need to respond, I am done with you!
I just got your email, Chuck. I'm not sure why you couldn't wait for me to respond. I was going to respond tonight as I promised. I really try to keep my word. I'm definitely not a player. I won't be subjected to AIDS since I have no anal intercourse. Ever. Not even once in my life--not as a pitcher or a catcher. I've never had any kind of sexually transmitted disease. Ever. I am the same person now as when I responded to you a few days ago. Nothing has changed. I'm not perfect, but I work hard to be kind.
Sorry we couldn't connect. I tried my best.
You tried your best? You didn't try to write me at a decent hour. I also got no explanation for why you didn't get back earlier. In any case I do not believe you. You are trash just like the other gay people that I write to or have written to me. I wish you guys would get your act together. For your age, especially. I am sure you were dating/screwing someone. I don't believe a word. You didn't even try. You were too busy on your date tonight. You lost out. It is very rare to find men like me. You are full of drama and LIES!! Goodbye and get lost!
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