Sunday, April 20, 2008
A week's end
A...challenging...weekend. A bad cold confines me mostly to my house, missing the bright Saturday and Sunday. Too little sleep at night, too much in the day. And the --admittedly minor, but vexing --ills of my body reduce the borders of my soul, making sadness and irritation the most natural guests.
A friend is dying of cancer a hundred miles away. My father's health continues to decline, placing more burdens on my mother and siblings. My ex's partner achieves Black Belt status in his chosen martial art. Another friend returns to see me from out of town. The neighbor's cat wanders in for the attention and space he has claimed for the last dozen years or so. Emails and phone calls come. A man of whom I am enormously, though perhaps imprudently, fond sometimes delights me to the point of uneasy wonder, sometimes confuses me to the point of fear. I watch movies and documentaries on war, on loss, on friendship, on ludicrousness. I think about my future, sometimes with hope, sometimes with anxiety.
And I just finished watching the wonderfully moving series finale of John Adams, based on David McCullough's groundbreaking biography. And there I am in awe. Abigail Adams once wrote to her husband that “Posterity who are to reap the blessings will scarcely be able to conceive the hardships and sufferings of their ancestors.” True, Abigail, true.
at 7:05 PM