Saturday, April 19, 2008


In the last ten days or so, I have experienced a noticeable variety of moods. More than I usually do. I think I have a very broadly and slowmoving cyclothymic character, but of late the colors have been more vivid. I have times of almost incandescent joy, of clear-flowing peace, of edgy anxiety, of irritated boredom, of grinning playfulness, of empty serenity. The literal color of the day or hour affects me: a sunny morning, a foggy one, darkness before dawn...

What I notice is how quickly and how sharply my mood can shift these days. I try not to act them out on people in unsocial or uncivi ways, but I feel them. The presence or absence of a person, my level of energy, how my teeth grind.

If I recall, Heidegger thought that moods were not merely emotional states or frames of mind, but ways in which the world revealed itself.

Sometimes they vary so much that I wonder if there is only one man experiencing them, if they are regions of my one soul or the voices of a multitude: "My name is Legion, for we are many."

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

The voices in my head just told me to tell you to stop reading their minds and get your own damned emotional states.

But don't listen to them.

They're crazy.

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