Chatting with a guy at the gym. He's a big friendly muscular guy with fur and tattoos and piercings. His taste in men runs to...men. He has lots of personal and work connections with all sorts of people in the LGBT world. He's bright, perceptive.
I don't know how this came up, but we got to talking about men who are homosexual in orientation but who do not identify much with the gay community. He started talking about guys he knows like that, most of whom, according to him, came out later in life and who "have issues" about their masculinity.
"What do you mean by issues?"
It seems that these guys are not comfortable with queeny behavior and will say so. Thus, they have "issues".
Here again, a man whom I otherwise quite like takes the position that having problems with effeminate behavior means having issues. I doubt very much whether queeny men who are mocking about conventional masculine, aka straight, behavior by homosexual men would be so described.
Who gets to decide who has "issues"?
4 comments:
Me.
- Trevor Blake
Well, an honest man.
I have zero interest in drag and don't understand the appeal of watching men dressed as women, but I don't look down on guys who do and don't speak ill of them in any way.
I have no interest in musicals, but I don't think it makes someone less of a man if he does.
I absolutely love sports but don't think it makes me more of a man than a guy who doesn't.
Yet, according to most self-described mature and secure gay men, I "have issues."
I just gave up worrying what guys like the one in your gym think.
This conversation infuriates me. Make a judgment call already, men.
I guess having no "issues" means refusing to have a negative opinion about anyone's behavior who you feel obligated to have some sense of kinship with.
Fear of making a judgment is an
"issue." In many cases, it is as much about a fear of being judged as anything else.
People who only have fashionable opinions are dead inside.
I might as well have a conversation with a press release.
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