Friday, November 25, 2011

We have met the enemy, part 6,347,922

On another site a woman of African descent --immigrant or American, I cannot tell-- complains of her inability to attract White men, despite her attractiveness and accomplishments. People --White, from all appearances-- jump in to help her.

In the process of responding to the comments, we find that her cybername is Diva. Ok. And that she identifies as African. Ok. And that comparisons between herself and beautiful women like Hallie Berry are useless because HB is bi-racial and Diva is in a different category, all Black, thank you very much*. And that if people don't like her big Afro hairdo, that's too bad, because that's who she is.

Are you gettin' the pikcha?


What man --White or Not-- wouldn't leap at the chance to date her?


*I wonder if she finds Prez Barry to be too bi-racial for her to consider him Black..


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I'm not sure if it's a cultural meme or a cultural trope or just what, but maybe an aspect of the gay community's culture is at fault in this development. I refer to the persona of fabulousness, into which can be added some victimhood or-and entitledness.

As an androphile, you will agree with me, I assume, that gay males can't do real feminineness. They have always done "camp" feminineness, a parody of feminineness, especially in the 'drag queen.' This character has influenced much of gay culture, hasn't it?

I don't have an particular allergicness to the drag queen or to the "fabulous" self-presentation style, but I Ru Paul isn't a turn-on for me. And no doubt he isn't trying to turn hetero guys on. He's not on this earth to please me, and I'm not on this earth to please him; and if we don't find each other it's no big deal. It's a big wasteland out there with lots of room for everyone's various preferences and individual concept of diversity.

Some time ago I chanced to watch a TV show whose main character was an African-American woman whose persona maybe seem'd rather a drag queen in style, someone who is fabulous, but not what the ordinariness community to which I belong would call feminine. Again, no big deal. She has the right to the personal style she prefers and I have the right to feel desire for whoever happens to inspire me with desire. ... And yet evidently that is actually in question, or maybe already deny'd; that is, I as a white guy _don't_ have the right to desire as I desire. It may be a wasteland out there, but social justice is still obligatory. Fortunately Stalin isn't in control of the wasteland, but only Stalinist theorists (cf Aristophanes' Assembly of Women).

In any case, this American woman and others like her of whatever ethnicity or racial identity is not help'd by denials of erotic realities. She may do well interpersonally in various ways with a fabulous "Diva" personality. Tim Curry in RHPS is very entertaining, although that movie hasn't necessarily been a good cultural influence. But if fabulousness was developed by drag queens, fabulousness isn't likely to be a quality that erotically arouses hetero guys, whether white, black or Asian.

Again, this isn't to say that she or any other woman is obligated to compose her persona so as to please guys of any ethnical or racial identity. In her opinion she is attractive. And her own opinion is the opinion that first and last matters, and only a promoter of amour-propre would counsel diferently. (I'm really not being sarcastic here.)

If white men or even also black men don't find her attractive, she should feel that that is their problem, their loss. She can continue to hope that some hetero guy will find that a fabulous diva is just what he is looking for in a romantic-erotic partner, but then also with a certain realisticness that for whatever reasons the fabulous diva isn't what most guys, most white guys, anyway, are looking for in a girlfriend-wife. ... That "life" isn't fair doesn't mean one is obligated to not be sad at one's privations. (Freud never argued that one ought to side with reality against one's own real possibilities of libidinous happiness. One does well to apply the Reality Principle to one's best advantage in instinctual gratification -- in sublimation, if all else fails.)

If someone ask'd me why I don't find fabulous divas a turn-on, I would have to reply that I don't know. It could be from the way I have been socially constructed. Or it could be from Darwinian evolution. Or a mix of both of these. ... It's intriguing to hear that I _ought_ to find the fabulous diva attractive sexually. The question of justice as rectifying the unintentional injustice of nature or randomness or social construction ...

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