Well...

Infamy

Sigh. Grrr.

The New York Daily News online has a set of photos arranged around the theme of shocks to the American psyche. Kennedy's assassination, etc.

The photo of a bombed out Hiroshima carries this caption: "Aug. 6, 1945 is a day that will forever live on in infamy in the history of warfare, as the first ever atomic bomb was deployed over the Japanese city of Hiroshima. 140,000 people were killed and the city leveled."

It was Franklin Roosevelt who described the Japanese surprise attack on Pearl Harbor on December 7th, 1941 as a day that will live in infamy. Now, sixty years later, we have some clueless asshole hack at the News turning his phrase around to use against the United States.

Does this jerk have any notion of what kind of fighting took place in the Pacific? The first bomb was preceded by six months, six months, of intensive firebombing. And it took a second bomb to prod the Japanese into surrender, six days following. Any notion at all of what kind of fighters the Japanese were, even on outlying islands? And then to face them on their homeland?

Guess what the estimate of lost American lives would have been had we had to invade the Japanese homeland? The most common estimate was around half a million. Or try this.



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Is it just me?

I find the picture and the headline pretty funny together.

Thanksgiving 2008

The fall of 2006 was the beginning of quite a period in my life, one full of renewed energy. My Thanksgiving post reflected that. And a year ago, I was feeling much the same way.

Not now. If gratitude is a only mood, I am not feeling very grateful these days. In the pillar matters of love and work, transition and uncertainty are the order of the day; promising possibilities have shrunk into sleep-threatening problems. The aging of my parents continues and it is painful to watch. A man sits in the White House whom I do not want to be there, and money is very much on everyone's mind. My 401k started bleeding badly last month and I don't even want to know what it looks like now. Paranoid fantasies of all kinds of disasters and tragedies are easy to come by.

The larger shifts in the world are ones I have no control over. The shifts in love and work are my own doing, however much they feel like the results of forces larger than myself.

That is something to be thankful for, I think. Pride in one's moral standing is a perilous stance. I have long come to admit, even embrace, myself as a morally flawed being. It's more of a relief than anything else. Trying to be good all the time...god, what a bore. I am a relatively decent guy with the usual set of character cracks and failures. But one thing I have tried to avoid is falling into the comfortable trap of blaming other people for what is my own responsibility.

I may in fact be or become a victim of the Panic of 2008 or whatever they will call it. I am pretty sure that I had nothing to do with causing it. But the other rough places in my life have come from choices I made. I do not believe that humans have a vastly unhindered freedom of will. Free we are, but within the limits of our human condition. And it is a condition. So if my choices prove to have been questionable...and you never know til the whole story reaches its end...I take responsibility. And I am glad that I can.

I still have my family and friends, my health is good. And I am smart enough to know that while mood may enhance gratitude, or lessen its impact, it is, like love, something you do, even when you can't feel it much.

So, even at a holiday time very different from the last two years...Thank you.

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How to transcend racism

HT to Bookworm for the story and kudos to her for the solution:
if you get rid of all your minorities, you won't be accused of racism.
Neat.

Remember the war?

The one in Iraq that we used to obsess about?
The worst disaster of the Bush Administration?

One of the most persistent and ontheground journalists
of the war has this to say:

We won.

Don't expect to hear anything about it in the Times.

Plantation gays

We all know how proud and how vigilant against right wing homophobia professional gays are. But part of this is that if you are on the approved list of Liberals, you don't get held to a similar standard. Happens all the time. For example.

A straight actor playing Harvey Milk's lover talks about his on-screen kiss with Madonna's ex, Sean Penn, and the accolades he got for doing it so well. Old Dave Letterman gets to say that maybe that's a skill that an actor wouldn't want to be known for. Ha ha. And then when the guy offers to show Dave his skills, Dave makes a face, but turns his cheek for a chaste peck. Everyone finds this hilarious. Gosh, Dave is so cool.

Imagine if it were not Dave Letterman, but some media type or other without his Bush Hating credentials. Bill OReilly or Sean Hannity. The howls! The homophobia! The contempt!

Instead, he gets to be condescending --at best--and even Armistead Maupin's husband thinks it's cool: "Daddy Dave Letterman" gets a smooch.


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Amidst the gloom

Some somewhat encouraging news from Canada.

The commissars of the "Human Rights Commission", forced out into the light because of brave and public battles with Ezra Levant and Mark Steyn, tapped an old friend to write a report on themselves. To everyone's surprise, he recommends that the law which supports them be repealed.

None too soon.

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Real men don't cry

The hell they don't.





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On the borderline

A friend, Tony, (names and details have been altered) sent me a copy of a set of emails with a prospective date. "Chuck" is a classic example of a borderline personality. With this type of guy, once you trip the switch, you go from being a hot and interesting man to being a worthless piece of lying dirty trash...in about a minute. Tony, by the way, is as advertised, a very nice and considerate guy.

There's a lot of this stuff out there. I've had a similar "dialogue" myself a time or two.

TONY’S AD:

Looking for relationship. I’m convinced the best relationships are a combination of friendship, common interests, respect, and animal attraction. I’m a decent guy, mature (50+) guy here; professional, upbeat. Here are some of the things that I value: good listeners; thoughtful, even-keeled guys; well-educated guys appeal to me.

CHUCK’S CONTACT: Hi. Until I saw your ad I didn't think anyone looked for the qualities that you described. That is what I seek; however, can't find it. Local guys are very proud, materialistic and too sure of themselves. I'm not really looking for a LTR. I'm looking for friendship above all. I’m just a few years younger than you.

Anyway, let me know if there is an interest. I am a non-mainstream type gay guy so I don't do bars. Not looking for quickie sex.

I am aware of those that have little. I volunteer for a local mental health entity. I also am living on very little while I finish school. I am humble; however, not stupid and not a person that is into crazy stuff.

Chuck, just got back from a business trip. You sound like a great guy. Friendship is a prerequisite for any relationship. You know from my profile what I'm looking for. Is a relationship out of the question for you? Non-mainstream is great...I like that.

Tony, sex is NOT what I am after. I am after friendship above all. A relationship would entail someone who is stable, without any STD's or AIDS, blood disorders or the like. How as your recent trip? Wish I could have accompanied you

I admire the fact that you show off your body at your age. That takes a lot of effort. It is terrible that we have to look so fit for the younger guys. I prefer guys over 40 and always have.

Chuck, I like your point of view: sex is not what I am after. I am after a friendship which has the potential to become a long-term relationship, which eventually will include sex. Is that a possibility with you? I have no std's of any kind. No blood disorders. Totally the stable type.

Tony, I responded to you yesterday; however, did not hear back from you. May I remind you that you ad listed: "No drama. Talks out conflicts" If a conflict is already going on, we need to talk about it.

You did not respond to whether you had AIDS or not. You merely responded "I have no std's of any kind". Whereas, AIDS is a std, I was thinking that a "stable" man as you have described yourself would have included that. Realize that you are not dealing with a "dumn" (sic) individual. I may be humble, etc. (per your specifications); however, I am an integrity oriented person and I expect you to be the same.

We are both mature men and we should be communicating and not playing the games of those younger or less understanding of human dynamics.

If I don't hear from you, I assume you were just "jacking around" and had no real interest in formulating a friendship/relationship but were using that pretext to get someone to have sex with you. Your body is very thin and that is a source of concern for me as you may have AIDS. I do not wish to compromise my health with an individual with AIDS.

I'll respond tonight, Chuck. Sorry for the silence. I don't have AIDS. Until later tonight, Tony.

Tony, I did not hear from you. I gathered that with your ad running that you are dating/screwing all kinds of men and getting yourself subjected to AIDs and other diseases. I had a feeling from your appearance that you were just a player and not really committed. I don't have time for your kind of people in my life.

You might want to change your ad since you ask for a lot; however, you are nothing like the ad. If you want someone to be a certain way, realize you have to have some kind of honorable characteristics. Most guys are like you -- wanton. No need to respond, I am done with you!

I just got your email, Chuck. I'm not sure why you couldn't wait for me to respond. I was going to respond tonight as I promised. I really try to keep my word. I'm definitely not a player. I won't be subjected to AIDS since I have no anal intercourse. Ever. Not even once in my life--not as a pitcher or a catcher. I've never had any kind of sexually transmitted disease. Ever. I am the same person now as when I responded to you a few days ago. Nothing has changed. I'm not perfect, but I work hard to be kind.

Sorry we couldn't connect. I tried my best.

You tried your best? You didn't try to write me at a decent hour. I also got no explanation for why you didn't get back earlier. In any case I do not believe you. You are trash just like the other gay people that I write to or have written to me. I wish you guys would get your act together. For your age, especially. I am sure you were dating/screwing someone. I don't believe a word. You didn't even try. You were too busy on your date tonight. You lost out. It is very rare to find men like me. You are full of drama and LIES!! Goodbye and get lost!

Wow, you're a hard man.

I was telling the truth. Every word.

I'm truly sorry things didn't work out.

I am not a hard man. You are a damn LIAR!

You are not sorry about anything.

You planned it that way. You are indeed warped!!!